PHOTO PROMPT © Magaly Guerrero
Baby A had a premonition , she refused to attend her own birthday party.
The family members were too excited to pay heed to the warning and wanted to celebrate in style.The party did take place and everything was fine, Baby A needn’t have worried much.
Exactly a week later, causes unknown her granddad breathed his last. A massive heart attack it was proclaimed by the medical team who were unable to save him.
Except for a few photographs here and there she doesn’t have much of him.Looking at his pair of shoes, she reminisces, had you been here, I’d seen you grow old, but you’ll remain forever young in all our hearts.Memories of him she doesn’t have much, but the love he shared with her holds her as a strong woman even after so many years of his parting.
143 words
You guessed it right : This is an ode to my very own granddad (Ajja) with whom I share a special relationship. Please forgive me for I’ve exceeded the word count, but I couldn’t think of anything else but this story when I saw this photo. Also I’ve ignored the fact that the shoe has pointed heels.
Acknowledgements : Thank you Rochelle Wisoff for running the challenge and Magaly Guerrero for the photo prompt. The challenge is to write in about 100 words inspired by the photo prompt. For more details please refer here.Thanks for stopping by and reading.
wonderfully written…
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Thanks a lot Sangbad.
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Amazing post. Loved it. Yes memories are immortal indeed. 🙂
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Thanks Sheetal.
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My pleasure. 🙂
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🙂
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Some memories are always to be cherished…..they are eternal. Nice one Aishwarya 🙂
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Thank you Radhika Mam!
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This was very poignant, Kitty. Well written too,
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Thanks a lot Neel.
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Dear Kitty,
Quite a story and a sweet tribute to your grandfather. I would challenge you, though, ie the word count. There are so many places I see where you could cut words without losing the story, beginning with the first line. “Baby A had a premonition that something untoward was going to happen. She refused to attend her own birthday party.” try this “Because of a premonition, Baby A refused to attend her own birthday party.”
A premonition is generally something bad so the untoward is understood. The change there was a difference of 7 words.
Of course it’s your story and I won’t tell you how to write it, but I’ve found through 5 years of doing this exercise that there’s always a way. I mean no offense.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks a lot Rochelle for stopping by and reading. I must say even I was speculating on the use of those two words, but at the end let them remain. Will surely incorporate your suggestion and I appreciate you taking your time off and offering constructive criticism. Thanks a lot. 🙂
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Reduced 10 words, thanks once again Rochelle.
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A good and touching story.
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Thanks a lot 🙂
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Lovely tribute for your grandfather.
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Thank you
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A good tangential take. Well done.
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Thanks a lot.
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This is a beautiful tribute to your grandfather. Well done.
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Thanks for reading and liking it.
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A personal touch to the story. Loved it.
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Thanks a lot
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